


i'm alright if you're alright

by OneshotPrincess



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Heavy Conversations in the Mysterious Tower, M/M, ft. Riku's blatant disregard of his own safety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27272512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneshotPrincess/pseuds/OneshotPrincess
Summary: Sora made a snuffling noise against the collar of Riku’s jacket. “I love you too, you know,” he said, voice soft and low. “Sometimes...sometimes I think you don’t know how much.”Riku’s eyes widened.Or, what do you do when loving yourself is just as hard as loving your best friend is easy.
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 96





	i'm alright if you're alright

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a tumblr prompt for anon who asked for "soriku prompt for: 'i love you. sometimes i think you don't know how much'" 
> 
> Thanks anon, I didn't need my heart anyway :'(((
> 
> Shoutout to KamikazeWorld on Ao3 for reading through this <3

_I’m alright if you’re alright_

_And I’m okay if you’re okay_

* * *

It was really saying something that even Yen Sid seemed to notice and account for Sora’s foul mood, cutting their meeting short and telling them to rest up instead.

Riku trailed after Sora as he stomped down the stairs of the Mysterious Tower. The door to their shared bedroom, decorated with bright yellow star stickers, courtesy of Sora, appeared a few flights earlier than it usually did. Even the Tower knew, apparently. Sora immediately opened the door and slammed it shut behind him.

Riku lingered on the doorstep, stomach curling in discomfort. Should he follow? Or should he give Sora some time to calm down? Sora rarely got so mad and Riku wasn’t even sure why. He hadn’t really expected Sora to react so strongly to what, by this point, was practically instinct to Riku. 

He was spared the dilemma of having to make a decision when Sora re-emerged from the bedroom, grabbing Riku tightly by the wrist and dragging him inside. 

“Sora,” Riku huffed as he was unceremoniously shoved onto the bed. Sora stood in front of him, hands on his hips. 

“Off,” Sora demanded in a tone that brooked no argument. When Riku hesitated,Sora made impatient motions with his hands. Riku huffed again, for _emphasis_ , before obligingly shrugging off his jacket, and, when Sora continued to stare, he took off his shirt as well.

He heard Sora take in a sharp breath, eyes on the pale white scar stretching across Riku’s side. Sora reached out a hand, slowly inching forward until he was climbing onto Riku’s lap, his knees bracketing Riku’s thighs. Instinctively, Riku placed his hands on Sora’s hips, holding him steady. 

Riku watched as Sora splayed his hand across Riku’s chest, tracing the place where the Heartless had slashed Riku when he’d pushed Sora out of the way. His fingers were warm. Sora always ran warm where Riku was cold, like the sun to his moon. This close, Riku could feel the tremor running through his boyfriend’s fingers.

“It’s okay,” Riku murmured, trying to be reassuring. “You healed it, see? Not even a scratch.”

Sora didn’t reply. Instead, his hand drifted off to the white scar. The miserable expression on his face made Riku’s heart twist.

“That wasn’t from today,” Riku rushed to explain, ridiculously, as if Sora didn’t already know, as if he hadn’t already seen it, traced it, and _kissed_ it, a hundred times before. “That’s older, that’s from—”

“From Xemnas,” Sora sighed. He raised his gaze from the scar and to Riku’s shock, his eyes seemed glossy, the sign of pooling tears. “You can’t keep _doing_ this, Riku.”

“...Do what?” Maybe if he pretended not to understand, he thought, Sora would drop it.

In an instant, Sora’s eyes flashed, changing from sadness to anger and Riku had a moment to regret his words before Sora’s arms went flailing. “You know what!” Sora cried even as he rocked backwards from the force and Riku had to tighten his hold on Sora’s hips to keep him from toppling over. 

“Sora,” Riku said, letting the pretense drop away. “You can’t ask me not to protect you.”

Sora’s expression twisted in dismay. “I’m not asking you not to keep me safe, Riku, I’m asking you not to do _this_ ,” — he gestured wildly again, waving to all of Riku— “to yourself!”

Sora looked so upset, Riku ached to wipe that expression off his face but how to explain? How to tell Sora that it didn’t _matter_ , he didn’t _care_ . A broken wrist was nothing compared to the pain of seeing Sora so still and lifeless in the pod. An aching hip was _nothing_ if it meant Sora wouldn’t have to face the same pain. 

He was silent for too long. Sora dropped his head back onto Riku’s shoulder. 

“I wish you’d trust me,” he mumbled. “I wish you’d believe in me, that I can take care of myself.” 

Horror flashed through Riku, his grip on Sora’s hips tightening. “Sora, _no_ ,” he insisted. “I trust you, I _do_. I just…”

_I’ve lost you too many times already and I’m scared._

_I’ve hurt you too many times and I’d do anything to make sure you're never hurt again._

“...I love you,” Riku said finally, helpless.

Sora made a snuffling noise against the collar of Riku’s jacket. “I love you too, you know,” he said, voice soft and low. “Sometimes...sometimes I think you don’t know how much.”

Riku’s eyes widened. For a moment, neither of them said anything, another silence in the middle of a conversation neither of them seemed to know how to navigate. Riku moved his hand up Sora’s back, slipping it under his jacket, seeking out Sora's warmth. 

Eventually, Sora lifted his head back up, looking at Riku with serious eyes. “Do you?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“Know how _much_ , Riku.”

And Riku found that he couldn’t keep looking at Sora anymore. 

Sora exhaled, hot breath tickling against Riku’s skin. He smelled a little like mint; he’d picked a couple of leaves from the forest floor, giving some to Riku ‘to taste’ before the Heartless had attacked them and started this mess. Riku knew this tick of Sora’s well; it was less of a sigh and more of an expulsion, like Sora was trying to breathe out his thoughts and feelings into the atmosphere, steeling himself for a wobbly smile.

“Okay,” Sora said, and sure enough, there was a false note of cheer in his voice. It made Riku feel awful and hollow. “New promise. If you can’t imagine me doing it for you, you can’t do it for me!”

Riku blinked. 

And just—the _way_ he phrased that offer, how _sure_ he seemed, it was all so _silly,_ Riku couldn’t help it. He laughed.

“Rikuuuuu!”

“Sorry,” he said through a snort. “You’re just so ridiculous. You’re going to be the first to break that rule, you know that?”

“You think so?” There was an edge to Sora’s smile. 

“No,” Riku resisted. “No, we are _not_ turning this into a bet.”

“Killjoy,” Sora grumbled. He moved his arms from where they’d been resting on Riku’s ribs, looping them around Riku’s neck, bringing their faces close enough for their noses to touch. All at once, Sora seemed to sag, the tension draining out of his spine, leaning his weight on Riku.

“I love you so, _so_ much, Riku,” he seemed to breathe the words into Riku’s skin, nose nuzzling against Riku’s cheekbone. “I just wished...you loved yourself like that too.”

Riku closed his eyes, savoring the weight of Sora on his lap, the warmth of him under Riku’s hand, the smell of mint fanning across the miniscule space between them. He thought of how full his heart felt and yet how it remained inexplicably light, buoyant in his chest despite everything, lifted by Sora’s very presence. 

“I will, if you will,” he offered, an olive branch and a plea, all at once.

Sora closed the distance between them to press a lingering kiss against Riku’s lips.

“I will, if you will,” Sora agreed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Slaps Soriku on the back. These boys can hold so many self-worth issues and trauma inside them!! And it's not the sort of issues that just one conversation would be able to solve, ugh, I just love them and their complicated devotion to each other so much!!
> 
> The opening line is from This December by Ricky Montgomery because I'm trash at titles and my go-to strategy is to just put my Spotify on shuffle until I find a lyric that just *hits right*
> 
> I hope you guys liked it, leave a comment/kudos if you did! You can also come yell at me about Soriku @oneshotprincess on tumblr or @PrincessOneshot on twitter <3


End file.
